Adult shirts

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just in a committed relationship.

Don’t be mad cause I’m a little cooler

One drink away from saying what I really think

Bread Loser of the Family

People only see Bigfoot at campgrounds and parks. He’s clearly on vacation.

My maturity level depends on who I’m with

Got Beer?

I stay hydrated by adding ice to my coffee

Drink coffee do stupid things faster with more energy

I enjoy romantic walks through the hardware store

Retired not Expired

I’m not addicted to chocolate were just in a committed relationship

Got Pizza?

In my defense, I was left unsupervised

Being an adult is weird. I’m just unsupervised all the time seems so unsafe.

Grumpy Old Veteran

Future decisions will be made using the Eenie Meenie Miney Moe system

Please be patient with me. I’m from the 1900s.

DD214 Alumni

Life is too short to be normal. Stay weird.

Age like old cheese. Full of character and slightly offensive

People will tell you to grow up & get a life, but it's a trap.

If you think the things I say are bad, you should hear what I keep to myself